Relationships that are marked by consummate love—the type of love that lasts—often have similar characteristics. According to the research, there are six main indicators that someone is in love:
1. You're authentic with this person.
Finding the kind of love that lasts involves letting your true self show. Couples that value open communication and genuine self-disclosure over dishonesty tend to be happier and have the kinds of candid conversations that foster a closer bond.
2. Your eyes really are only for each other.
Individuals who are in love often concentrate on one another. The degree to which people pay attention to other possible dating partners is, in fact, a powerful indicator of relationship breakdown. According to research, considering and focusing on attractive alternative mates is associated with lower levels of commitment, investment, and satisfaction—all of which are typically present in enduring, loving relationships.
3. Your physical relationship leaves you with an afterglow.
Sex is frequently more than just sex for those who are in love. According to recent studies, beneficial results for people and their relationships are driven by positive emotion and affection, not sex per se, which is what many couples experience during sexual activity.
4. You're motivated to make your partner's life easier.
Worry about your lover and their worry for you are equally crucial as passion. When both partners give and receive the kind of generous caring intended to advance each other's well-being—referred to as compassionate love—their relationships improve. Although this by itself won't define being "in love," it is a structural element that separates transient lust from the potential long-term love you may be seeking.
5. You take risks with your partner.
Intimate risk-taking seems to be a positive aspect in fulfilling relationships, but sometimes it's easier to hide your background or recount a painful narrative without the genuine feeling. Unrestrained self-disclosure is made possible by the safety and trust that love offers.
6. You intrinsically enjoy your partner's company.
How much do you enjoy your spouse, even though you're attracted to them? Liking is a part of the type of "in love" that usually translates into long-term relationship bliss, however it is different from passion. A high level of satisfaction in a relationship is indicated by like your spouse, and this type of interpersonal pleasure is beneficial for maintaining a relationship.
Research psychologists continue to look for more components of the elusive formula that characterizes love and being in love, but so far, results indicate that both emotional and cognitive processes are involved. In other words, in assessing whether you've found enduring love, decisions—like commitment decisions—as well as affective responses are important.