It can be both thrilling and nerve-racking to be expecting a second child. Because they have already gone through the delivery process, the difficulties of caring for a baby, and the inevitable lack of sleep, many parents are more confident the second (or third) time around.
But taking care of a baby while juggling the needs of an older kid or kids adds another level of complexity. According to research, most parents find it difficult to balance the demands of a new baby with those of their firstborn.
As clinical and developmental psychologists, we want to help parents prepare their older kids for this transition by offering them resources and knowledge on how to handle it.
Supporting parents with their older children
A collection of suggestions to assist parents in adjusting to having several children in the household is provided below.
1. Expect some obstacles. Your older child is likely to exhibit certain behaviors that you will find difficult to deal with during this time. These should not be interpreted as a problem, but rather as an indication that your child is adapting to a significant shift.
2. Rely on the people in your social circle. Parenting can be quite busy, especially when you have more than one child and a baby. In times of need, we advise you to seek support from your loved ones and friends, such as watching the elder child, preparing or dropping off food, or simply listening if you need to vent. Unless we tell them directly, family and friends frequently don't know how to help, so attempt to explain what you need in order to get the assistance you seek.
3. Distribute the burden. Speaking with your co-parent about what you need to accomplish what seems like a more equitable distribution of labor is also crucial. Family stress is decreased when childcare and housework are shared.
4. Try to schedule personal time. Your well-being depends on taking time for yourself, even though it may feel impossible at times. A quick nap, a shower, a stroll, or even just reading a few pages could be included in this. We recognize that sometimes it's tough to spend time alone, but when your child is asleep, try to relax by lying down or reading quietly in a comfortable spot. It can be restorative even for short periods of time.
Parents can support their children's well-being in the following ways:
1. Create one-on-one moments. Try to schedule brief periods of time for your older children, such as a game session, a bedtime story, or a quick outing to the park. This will help them feel loved and reassured during a significant time of transition.
2. Let your kids interact with kids of their own age. To give you a break, try setting up playdates with your older kids' pals, preferably at their house. Children should have time to play and interact with other kids their own age. Children have greater interpersonal skills as a result, such as sharing and comprehending the feelings and viewpoints of others.
3. Engage your elder child. Your older child can assist with modest chores, such as bringing over a baby toy or singing to the infant, if they express interest in their new sibling. This encourages participation and can strengthen sibling ties.
Despite being one of the most significant and enduring connections in life, sibling relationships are always evolving as people mature.
Facilitating your older children's adjustment to a new sibling will help create the foundation for a healthy sibling relationship throughout childhood and beyond.
